On the subject of WORA only briefly. It seems like, upon further observation, only part of the population blows off steam. Part of them have legitimate concerns, although still choose to express them in insulting ways.


Now moving on. I may or may not actually record my voice and post it, within the next year at some point. There is a problem.

It seems I am much less sure of myself when I'm not reading a script written by somebody else. When it's me, I get nervous quick like. I had an interesting conversation the other day involving the reasons behind this, but I forgot most of it sadly. What's the point of having a conversation if I can't remember?

The gist of it was, though, that I'm desperate for the people who like me to keep liking me, and that's the same reason I'm so freaking nice. I had said - and I was at least partially correct - that I prefer typing to speech when I don't know or can't see a person, because I have more time to think about what I'm saying.

So they theorized about the reason I might want to have more time to think. If I have more time to think, I'm less likely to alienate someone who is my friend, or someone who is a potential friend. They suggested that if I had a smaller social circle than most teenagers my age, I would put more energy in keeping the friends I have than finding new ones.

I think they are wrong... If you over-examine any behavior, you will somehow be able to see narcissism behind it all, albeit very minor. I don't know if it would technically be classed as narcissism, considering in my case they were claiming it had to do with self-preservation.

The thing I find wrong with this is that I am nice to people who would never be my friends in a million years. I don't let people walk on me quite the way people seem to perceive online, but I am nice none the less.

He had suggested that I reminded him of the kid who does homework for the cool kids, just to get them to talk to me. (He knows I'm home schooled, though) The example I used was 'If those cool kids ignored me every day, I'd ignore them. If they asked for help after ignoring me for years, I'd help them without hesitation if I thought I could without doing all the work for them, and I'd expect nothing in return. I'd in fact expect them to start ignoring me again...'

This sort of altruistic behavior, people don't understand, so they try to explain it, with what they know about me. I don't even understand it, honestly. People do not expect altruism from other people. They expect to owe other people something when they receive help... Even emergency workers, with the exception of some volunteers, take compensation. I don't know if I'm truly altruistic, but I never consciously make a choice to help someone, based on what I'll get in return. Flaw or merit, I don't know.

It seems like a flaw in that, if I'm constantly helping other people who ask for it, when will I find time to help myself?


Really, there could be any number of reasons I'm actually afraid of recording my own train of thought, in my own voice. But I can't think of any that weren't already addressed by this guy's theory, right now. I still hold that he's wrong :(

The thing I want to talk about today, for lack of a better topic, is WORA. That's a slightly offensive forum. It stands for 'When Online Roleplaying games Attack'...

Now the thing about WORA is, it is primarily used for bashing MUSHes around. (Not 8bit, 'cause 8bit isn't an RP MUSH..) It could be used constructively, but isn't really. People express their opinions in less-than-civil ways, and usually I think they are just venting steam immediately after causing, witnessing or otherwise being part to problems on some MUSH... It is to the point that in the agreement when you register, it says to expect people to be assholes. Not in so few words, but that was basically it.. I'll quote it later, maybe, to be sure.

Also, I thought it was funny that at the top of the forums it says 'If you are here, you are assumed to be an adult, or at least act like one.' Their definition of adult differs from mine, I think they just mean don't look to the forum staff to stop someone from insulting you. My definition of adult, in this situation, would be 'able to get your point across without insulting other people.' Unfortunately this is seldom the case in real life either, it seems.

Anyway. I don't quite see why people get so worked up about what is posted on these forums. It can't really be taken in seriousness... I talked to a player after she posted on the forum, and she said that she did not actually mean anything she wrote down anyway. It was just a way to let out steam. I believed her, but I wasn't about to take any of it seriously anyway. The whole thing is just a pile of bad reviews, no one ever posts good reviews unless I've been overlooking them entirely. I'm hardly an old member.

If someone insults my favorite staff member, on my favorite game, (King Luigi@8bitMUSH, of course :0) I'm not about to let them change my opinion. On the off chance they are telling the truth, and are completely informed, I can forgive and forget. And in some cases, I might actually agree with what they claim the staff member said.

That is one of my main flaws, I think. I forgive too readily, and I almost always afford other people the benefit of the doubt. In real life too. For example, just today we were stuck behind a slow driver, on a curve, and my mom made a comment about it that I forgot... It was sort of assuming, though. I would have guessed that the slow driver had some legitimate reason for going slow. The car was an old Ford Festiva, and anyway I don't know if his tires would have held out going faster... If he hadn't slowed, he might have gone off the road.

Back to the topic, though. I think it's odd that people would get so ticked off at the opinions of other people. If you don't respect someone, and you don't respect their opinion... Then just ignore it! I was wondering why people care, and thinking of various ways to tell them off, like 'Are you so insecure in your own opinion that you need to make fun of someone else's opinion in order to validate your own?' Then, it occurred to me that it might be just that.

Maybe people are often insecure in their opinions, or if they are secure, afraid in the face of a convincing argument that they are wrong. People do not like to be wrong. If someone offers a different opinion, instinct is to react and argue with it.

The response to an opinion will of course depend on the individuals. But I am currently at a loss when it comes to predicting how someone will react.

I can see in my mind cases where the more violently an opinion is expressed, the more violently an argument is posed.

But I can also see the opposite, where the more intelligent the opinion sounds, the more violently someone's argument will be made. It could be more threatening to have your opinion challenged by someone who sounds intelligent, because you are afraid they might be right.

Then of course there's the boring ones where both make intelligent points and counterpoints. Pfft.


I'm going to read this post into my MacGuyverPhones* later. Just for something to do. Later later, I mean. Tonight, I play chess. And win.

EDIT: I'm going to read a different post. Maybe compose one by audio, but maybe not... This one's too long, and I realized that I speak much differently than I write anyway.

Mac-Guy-ver-fones (n): Headphones plugged into the microphone jack